New Tricks

Daniel has been in physical therapy to help with developmental delays and it’s started paying off. He can sit (if he wants to) Indian-style with very little help and we discovered yesterday that he’ll go forward, weight-bear on his feet, transfer his weight to the coffee table, and reach for things if he’s sitting on our laps on the floor. This latest trick is really good news because it’s a step toward walking.

Crawling-wise, he’s definitely creeping and hopefully should be crawling in the next couple weeks. We need to find a babygate wide enough to span the space in the kitchen to protect the cats’ litterboxes and food from him.

“Bones” Episode on Evil

I watched “Bones” for probably the first time after “House” tonight and the premise of it was a priest and altar boy coming upon a fire on the altar in which something resembling a demon or devil was being immolated. I didn’t much care for the show in general — it wasn’t as good as “CSI” or “Law & Order”, mostly because the plot kind of wrapped up in the last 30 seconds in a really weird slapdash way.

It was,however, an interesting show in that you saw the views on the existence of evil from various characters including a Catholic, a Muslim, and Temperance (Bones) herself who has an atheist/scientific view point. I’m not totally a fan of how religious issues are portrayed on TV because the writers seldom “get it right”. (Please spare me the lecture about how “TV is not an indication of reality”. I’m fully aware that show like “CSI” and “House” are fictitious.) It was definitely fascinating to see how each character’s perception of evil influenced the way they reacted to the situation from the Catholic repeatedly genuflecting when they were in the church to the Muslim (Vazari?) talking about the difference between angels and demons in Islam. It appealed to the religious scholar in me and the interest I have in comparative religion.

It also begs the question for me of how I perceive evil in the world. I’m not sure that I believe in a corporeal devil or that demons have bodies. Nevertheless, I do believe that evil exists and that there is an evil force (Satan or “the Great Adversary”) acting in the world. Why else do we have war, hatred, violence, etc? I want to believe that good always triumphs but I also (in an Arminian way) believe that a lot of what happens that is evil is the consequence of our actions and our lack of consideration of others which is part of our inate selfishness as fallen people. Good can only do so much in those cases and it takes a whole lot of good to overcome so much evil.

As for why earthquakes and natural disasters happening, I want to say God is in control and I have to believe it. It is however hard to explain so much death and suffering other to say that much of it stems from poverty caused by capitalism and our annoying habit of valuing our personal wealth over the needs of others. (Example: Joel Osteen and all the other “mega-church” pastors could probably sell their massive properties and donate the money to feed the poor and rebuild Haiti instead of building bigger barns and buildings for themselves. *stepping off my soapbox*) I heard recently that only 10% of the aid pledged to Haiti has actually come through, which is really saddening to me as a Christian because I believe that we do have a duty to help our brothers and sisters (i.e. FULFILLING OUR FREAKING PLEDGES OF AID) instead of welching on our pledge.

What do you think, y’all?

OMG… Ten Years!

It’s pretty hard to believe that I’ve been doing the blogging thing for ten years now. I started my journal as an experiment in the summer of 2000 and have kept it going in one form or another since then. Not all the archives are uploaded — it’s an ongoing project that I work on when I have some extra time and a good Internet connection, both things that are lacking these days.

How My Life Has Changed Since Then: When I started blogging, I was a 20 year old college student living at home over the summer. I was dating this guy I’d met over the Internet and working at Barnes & Noble to pay for books and living expenses. Ten years later, I’m married to that guy (8 years now), living in southern California, have a 15 month old son, and have worked a variety of jobs. I’ve lived in 8 different places in 7 different cities/towns in 4 different states. Oh yeah… I also have 18-24 inches less hair than I did in 2000. 🙂

What Blogging Has Done for My Life: It’s been an *interesting* ten years and blogging has given me an outlet to express my thoughts/frustrations/reflections on everything in my life. In my last year of college, I was meeting Crystal, Krissy, and Eileen for the first time. In 2002, blogging kept me sane when we moved to Newark and I was pretty much stuck in the house all day. I made friends through blogs4God (at that time an Internet Christian blog portal) and became a moderator for them in 2003. When we moved to Minnesota and then to Montana, my blogging people became a portable community that I could take from place to place. In these 10 years, I’ve made some really great friends (some of whom I have been able to meet in person) and been able to be part of some amazing experiences in their lives such as rejoicing when someone was able to adopt their daughter from China and being with a friend (by phone and in spirit) at the death of her brother. When Daniel was born, I had an amazing support system in place to help me deal with my stress, grief, and joy and I had people who held my hand from afar when my grandfather passed away.

How My Faith Has Changed: When I started blogging in 2000, I was a neophyte Christian and trying to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12b) Ten years later, my faith and how I express it has really evolved. When I started blogging, I was attending an Episcopal church at home and a Conservative Baptist church at school. (Being Lutheran was a compromise between the two.) I know now that I am bi-ritual (i.e. I can worship in both liturgical and free-form settings) but that my ultimate preference is liturgy. The parts of the Bible that I thought I understood ten years ago mean something entirely to me now. I would say that I’m more conservative theologically now but I can express that conservatism in a more grace-filled way.

How the Internet Has Changed: I got into blogging relatively early and hand-coded my blog at first. In the intervening time, I’ve used: Livejournal, Greymatter, Moveable Type, and b2/Wordpress. b2/Wordpress has been what I’ve used the longest — 7 years combined with WordPress being about 5 years of that. The blogging thing seemed to catch on around 2003 and a lot of the blogs I used to follow have petered out since then. With the advent of Facebook and Twitter, blogging has gotten edged out and I admit that posting to Facebook has made me less likely to blog. On the other hand, blogging is also a way for me to get the junk out (in passworded entries).

What I’m Proud of Having Done: I think the posts I like best are mostly from 2003 and 2004 when I tended to be more reactive and take on more people. Probably my best post was a letter to Dr. Michael Newdow that was cross-posted to blogs4God and caused me to incur the ire of the people at Atheism @ About.Com. I also have some political posts from that time where I took on someone that annoyed me and explained why their point of view was completely and utterly wrong. If nothing else, those posts caused me to figure out a whole lot of diplomatic and polity issues.

What I Probably Shouldn’t Have Done: I probably could have been slightly less vitriolic about my utter dislike and disdain of our ex-president Bush. (Those who knew me back in 2003 are probably laughing hard enough to choke at that statement.)

What I Hope For the Next Ten Years: I hope that we’ll be more settled in a place where Jon has a call and that Daniel will be a happy and healthy 11 year old. I’m not against having more kids but if we do, I’m hoping for a daughter named Hannah Grace. As far as blogging, I hope that I’ll have two Obama administrations to blog through and that whoever follows him is somewhat competent. Peacefulwaters.Org is renewed for the next two years and Grace-Filled.Net will be renewed for at least another year in September. I have no idea what will happen in that time but God-willing, I’ll be blogging through it all.

Evolution: Why It’s Not A Huge Deal to Me

Again, I get a posting topic from Jen at BlagHag. Maybe I should put her on my payroll or something? (OK… if I *HAD* a payroll.)

She blogged about how Indiana is one of 5 states where evolution is directly mentioned in state curricula for school. Not shockingly, California is one of them — we had UNITS on evolution in my two high school Bio classes.

My freshman Bio teacher Mr. Bowen was fanatical about it — he’d apparently grown up in a fundamentalist family and had students in the past who tried to undermine him with material from the Institute for Creation Research. AP Bio was along the lines of “we’re presenting this as a viable theory” and it was treated as an “if evolution occurred, this is how it happened thing” — faith wasn’t brought up and it was pretty chill. It’s also the part of Biology I liked best and the unit I did the best in as far as work and my exams.

It’s also one of those things that causes me to scratch my head because it isn’t mutually exclusive to Christianity for me. Maybe it’s because evolution does make sense — Genesis would jive with the punctuated equilibrium theory — or maybe because I’ve got the attitude that “the clock is evidence of the clockmaker”.

I Wish God Didn’t Trust My Friends So Much

A week or two, my friend Jenn lost her husband.

Today, two of my friends (Laura and Tim) found out from the ultrasound that their baby didn’t develop a skull or brain tissue.

Cue Mother Teresa quote: “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”

Because of my own science project pregnancy experience, I feel especially hard for Laura and Tim because this is one of those situations where they did everything they were supposed to and something awful happened. I feel awful that they’re going through this at all but I feel especially awful that they’re going to get the following comments from well-meaning (and some not quite well-meaning) people:

[+] At least you have a healthy two year-old daughter. Yeah… be as that may, Magdalena does not make up for the baby that they’re losing now.

[+]Well, if Laura had only done [insert thing], she wouldn’t have had this problem. Laura is one of the most granola hippie people I know. She wouldn’t do anything while pregnant to make this happen. This also discounts the fact that crappy things like this happen for reasons that are only clear to God.

[+]This will make Tim a better pastor. While this is partially true, it’s still not going to remove the sting from this.

Keep them in your prayers please.

Yet Another Surprise

After my pregnancy with Daniel, I kept having joint and muscle pain which I couldn’t blame on pregnancy. It was worst in January and February and has continued intermittently since with the worst of it being at times of high stress.

I finally got a referral to a rheumatologist and saw him this morning. His thought: a “little bit” of fibromyalgia. Apparently, I have the tenderness in the right places and all the other symptoms and conditions that are associated.

The good news is that this isn’t life-threatening or crippling. Staying active will help keep it at bay.

The bad news is that flares can be triggered by excess stress and it’s one of those conditions that’s a diagnosis of exclusion which means that everything else needs to be ruled out first. They also can’t treat the disease — just the symptoms.

They took some blood and I’ll see the doctor again in two weeks.