Author Archives: Jen

About Jen

Jen isn't quite sure when she lost her mind, but it is probably documented here on Meditatio. She blogs because the world needs her snark at all hours of the night... and she probably can't sleep anyway.

I Remember…

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Eight years ago today when the planes crashed into the World Trade Center, I was sitting in my Person in Ministry class at Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Columbus, Ohio. I remember walking into Gloria Dei chapel after class and hearing that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. At the time, I thought it was just a small plane because they’d had one crash into a building in Florida and it wasn’t a big deal, so why was everyone flipping out? Our dean of the chapel read St. Patrick’s Breastplate to us after letting us know that DC and New York were effectively shut down. Still… I wondered what the big deal was. It wasn’t until I walked into the student lounge and saw one of the towers collapse in real time that I understood what the big deal was.

I remember the first thing I did was to call my mom who was still asleep and going to be flying to Cleveland that day on business. She didn’t know what I was so upset about until she turned on the TV. Then, I heard her gasp and wake my dad up.

I remember everyone who was on campus that day crowding into Schenk Chapel for a prayer service at noon. I remember lots of tears and Dr. Mark Ramseth, our seminary president, sitting on the floor in the midst of us leading the prayers. Never has the song “Lord Listen To Your Children Praying” had such meaning. Classes were cancelled for the rest of the day so that people could go home and track down family and friends in that area.

The next few days were a blur of prayer services and candlelight vigils. One very distinct memory I have is of the Community Eucharist the next morning and the Litany being sung acapella and it just being very haunting and evoking the feeling that we were standing in the presence of the Almighty asking for protection. I also remember listening to the National Prayer Service on the local NPR station which our circulation librarian had turned on.

Besides that week, I have other very distinct memories.

I remember hearing horror stories about what Muslims across the US were dealing with from bigoted people who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) distinguish them from the fanatics who had been the actual hijackers. The story of a Sikh man in Arizona being beaten to death because of his turban still saddens me to this day.

I remember the idiotic comments of prominent right-wing Evangelicals like Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Franklin Graham about Islam. The latter saddened me the most because I have so much respect for his father (the Reverend Billy Graham) and he was the one chosen to take over at the time.

I remember weeping when I heard about troops being sent to Afghanistan to bomb the Taliban because I knew that innocent people would die regardless of how “careful” we were.

I remember it being seriously politicized and becoming the rationale for the War in Iraq even though none of the hijackers were Iraqi (15 of the 19 were from our supposed “ally” Saudi Arabia) which angered me greatly.

I remember being in Detroit 3 months after it happened and around the time Attorney General John Ashcroft had “asked” all Muslim men between the ages of 18-35 to voluntarily come in for interrogation questioning. It was somewhat painful that the first words out of anyone’s mouth at the mosques we visited were “we’re not ones that did it” and I felt awful that they had to apologize for the actions of a small group of people that in no way represented the larger Islamic faith.

Most of all, I remember just being disgusted 6 months and then a year later when there were “retrospectives” on TV and all. I felt it was incredibly disrespectful to the families of the victims who were having the scabs on their emotional wounds ripped off again and again. It was why I created the September 11th Media Fast in 2002 — I just didn’t feel like I needed to watch hours of footage to remember the horror of that day. I also feel serious disgust at the renaming of today as “Patriot Day” — I feel like it is such an insult to those who died.

As I sit here 8 years later, I really feel no compelling reason to re-visit the horror of that day on a yearly basis but rather to remember how my world has changed since it happened. In the last 8 years, we’ve toppled the regime in Iraq, seen our own civil rights taken away in the name of national security (*waves to the nice NSA people who are reading this*), seen the day taken and used wrongly for the purposes of electing or re-electing people to office, become more fearful as a nation, and decried what we went through so many times that the rest of the world is dying to tell us to SHUT UP ALREADY. (You’d think we’re the only country that has had a terrorist attack take place on our soil.)

What I wish we could do is remember the day but also realize that maybe some of our foreign policy decisions could have been a little better and that the hijackers do not “hate us because we’re free” but because they’ve been taught that we’re occupying their Holy Land and we’re supporting Israel in persecuting the Palestinians. I wish we could use this day as a reminder of what happens when we preach an “us vs. them” mentality and eschew tolerance of the beliefs of others.

Mostly, I wish that we as a nation could join together as we all did on that day and all be “Americans” once again.

Repulsive Preaching

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East Valley Tribune: Group rallies to protest pastor’s message

The gist of this is that there’s a pastor in Tempe who is praying that Obama dies and goes to hell and is being very vocal about it. One of his parishioners is the person who showed up at an Obama rally in Arizona last month with an assault rifle on his back. This is also apparently the pastor who got tasered after he refused to let Border Patrol agents search his car.

This man disgusts me. I will readily admit that I wanted to see Bush 2.0 leave office during his presidency and would have loved to see him impeached but… I NEVER PRAYED FOR HIM TO DIE OR GO TO HELL!!!!! Hello? This guy is serious breaching the commandment against killing and he’s also completely forgetting Romans 13:1 which states that “everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”

The amount of seriously malicious hate that has cropped up since Obama’s inauguration is just scaring me. There was serious polarization during Bush 2.0’s terms but his detractors were all liberals and believed in self-control and gun laws. You would NEVER have seen parents keeping their kids home from school or the heads of the state Democratic parties decrying Bush 2.0 addressing kids on the first day of school. We’ve either seriously deteriorated as a society in terms of reason and civility or the media is just showing the right-wing nut jobs. In the case of the latter, I wish they’d stop giving them so much press.

Life Happens

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Let’s see… what has happened in the last week or so…

[+] Jon got his new laptop. With birthday money from both sets of parents, Jon was able to get a laptop of his own from Dell (with me using my employee discount from my [employer who cannot be named]). It’s been a good thing — he’s been able to customize it and I don’t have to share any more!

[+] The dude had his 4-month Well Child exam. At his exam on 8/27, he was 11 lbs 1.5 oz which is pretty respectable. His growth curve is perfect and he’s at about the 50th percentile for a 2 month old which is what he is gestationally. He got two of his shots that day which did not make him a happy little bear and he got his other shot this last Tuesday. His hernia surgery is scheduled for the 11th and everything seems to be set for that.

[+] I had my annual exam right before Daniel’s appointment and unfortunately, I didn’t fare as well. My bloodwork came back crappy (not unexpected) though they finally caught my thyroid misbehaving so I’m now on Synthroid. I honestly can’t tell you if it’s working yet or not because I was dealing with a nasty migraine this week and felt like cat spit anyway.

[+] We made arrangements to fly to [undisclosed location] in California to interview at the end of September. We’ll stay with my in-laws (more like Daniel can stay with them and bring us if he wants) and hopefully see some family and friends out there.

Stunning Blows and Prayers Needed

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The head of the call committee of the church in Alberta called to say that Jon wasn’t a match. He did say he’d recommend Jon highly to the assistant to the bishop there for the other churches in the area who are looking for pastors but it’s still a blow to Jon. I’m sad because they were good people and an amazing church. They took their time deliberating which makes me think that this wasn’t a decision made lightly. In the end, it’s still the second time Jon has made it to an in-person interview this year only to be shot down. Pray for him.

There is a church in California which is looking at Jon. It would mean being closer to family and friends and if nothing else, it’s an option. Pray that things go well when we fly out there next month.

Why I Am Not Flipping Out At The Moment

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New York Times: Lutheran Group Eases Limits on Gay Clergy

Yes, I am a conservative Christian. Yes, I would have voted against this. (All my GLBTQ peeps know this.) However, I’m not having a massive hissy fit over this.

Why you ask?

1.) I’ve got too much going on in my life to flip out over anything else at the moment. Jon is in the process of finding another call, I have a 4 1/2 month old baby who is teething, I’m working 3 days a week, I’m still dealing with the emotional and mental schtuff from Daniel’s birth and stay in the NICU, and I’m tired to the point where sleeping all day would be sooooo nice. While I’m aware of the implications of this, I’m really having a hard time caring right now.

2.) The language of the decision is as such:

The first step asks the assembly whether it is committed “to finding ways to allow congregations and synods that choose to do so to recognize, support, and hold publicly accountable lifelong, monogamous, same-gender relationships,” said the report.
The second step asks the assembly whether it is committed to finding a way for Lutherans in committed, same-gender relationships to serve as ELCA professional leaders — clergy, associates in ministry, diaconal ministers and deaconesses.
If steps one and two are accepted, step three asks the assembly to commit to implementing steps one and two “in such a way that all this church bear the burdens of the other, love the neighbor, and respect the bound conscience of any with whom they disagree.” According to the report, “decisions about policy that serve only the interests of one or another group will not be acceptable.”
Step four presents a proposal for how the ELCA could move toward change “in a way that respects the bound conscience of all,” said the report. The fourth step is different from the previous steps in that it is “not simply a commitment in principle, but makes a specific recommendation for flexibility within existing structures and practices of this church to allow for people in publicly accountable, lifelong, monogamous, same-gender relationships to be approved” for professional service in the ELCA, stated the report.

In none of the bolded passages does it state that members will be forced to call a gay or lesbian pastor to their congregation. My bishop (the most awesome Jessica Crist) actually states it best:

The resolution on Ministry Policies is actually a series of 4 resolutions, moving from committing the ELCA to begin the process of finding ways to recognize and support life-long, monogamous, same-gender relationships, to finding ways for rostering appropriately prepared and qualified persons. Even if all 4 parts of the resolution pass, there will be a lengthy process for implementation. The resolution makes possible in certain instances the rostering of people who happen to be in same-gender relationships. It is important to note that the intent of this is to open possibilities for ministry. Congregations have a lot of leeway in the call process now. They can accept or reject a candidate proposed by the Synod Office. That will not change. The intent of these resolutions is not to force congregations to accept pastors who do not fit. Rather it is to allow congregations to call pastors who do fit.

In other words, this isn’t something that will take place overnight and it isn’t something that will be binding on every congregation and every person. Congregations are always allowed to reject a candidate given to them just as candidates can reject a congregation profile given to them. If it were binding that a congregation had to consider every candidate given, that would be a different story.

3.) This issue has been talked to death for the last 8 years. I swear that some of the “yes” votes were cast on the condition that we could stop talking about sex at Synod Assembly. (At least… this is what my Lutheran peeps on Facebook are saying.) In the words of one of them, “one of these days, we might be able to get past sex and the church roof and onto the issue of Christ being crucified and raised from the dead.” At least there’s a decision on the horizon and we can stop dialoguing ourselves to death!!!

So… this is why I’m not flipping out like I normally would be.