Publicly Proclaiming Our Sinfulness and Welcoming Others

All day yesterday, the Facebook page of the Episcopal Church showed pastors out giving “ashes-to-go” to people outside of churches and hospitals and at train stations. Various articles have been written on the Ashes To Go practice including one written by Lauren Winner, evangelical “It Girl” and professor at Duke Divinity School. (She was also recently ordained an Episcopal priest and serves St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Durham.)

In her article, Winner talks about how this is wholly appropriate because Christ was crucified in a public place. Quoting her:

I would add that there is something about Ash Wednesday — the day the church sets aside for people to acknowledge, before God and one another, our mortality, our finitude and our moral failings — that suggests taking this particular liturgical action into the streets (besides following, as it does, the public revelry of Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday). We are going into public with our ashes because Jesus died in public. He didn??t die in the Upper Room surrounded only by his disciples.

What ministers with their ashes are offering is a bodily marker of God??s entry into our death. The ashes Cathie will inscribe on my forehead, and I on hers, let me name truths that most days I cannot or will not name — that I have sinned; also, that I have a body, and I am going to die. To walk around all day with a cross on your head is to walk around in a body inscribed with death. It is also, oddly, to walk around inscribed with hope — the hope that comes through Jesus?? having joined us in our mortality.

I have to agree… I run with a number of Catholics online and there was a popular Twitter hashtag called #ashtag in which people (myself included) posted pictures of themselves (and in one case with their significant other) with their ashes. For many people, Ash Wednesday is a day when people can publicly claim to be Christian and wear an outward sign of their faith in the form of the ashes on their foreheads. I recall Winner mentioning the statistic about more people attending church on Ash Wednesday than on Christmas or Easter in her book — something about the need to show their families and loved ones that they were indeed Christian and that their salvation was somehow assured for another year.

Ashes To Go works on a level that I think most strictly observant Catholics and other liturgical Christians forget: there will be those who for whatever reason cannot make it to church on Wednesday because they’re so busy. It’s not that they don’t want to be observant — it’s that they have work, kids, a commute, and everything else. Daniel and I made it to the first 15 minutes of worship (long enough to receive our ashes and hear the collect) and the only reason we did was that we live around the block from the church. Had I faced the tasks of making dinner, feeding Daniel and myself, getting both of us ready, driving to church (especially if it would have been 20 minute drive on gravel roads like it was in previous parishes), and then trying to keep my grumpy two year old occupied, I probably would have skipped it or at least told Jon to bring ashes home to me. (To those who read my blog and are that observant with more than one kid, you guys are rock stars and you have my props.) There are a number of people in that position. They may not have children or their children may be old enough to make dinner but there’s also homework, squeezing in housework, baths, putting the children to bed, and then bills to pay.

I feel that as we go through Lent, we should be mindful of those who may want to believe or who may believe and feel uncomfortable passing through the doors of a church for whatever reason. If one feels led, they should pray for them; but mostly, I feel like we should find ways of helping them engage their faith as a step toward moving them into reconciliation and community with others.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: February 20, 2012

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY February 20, 2012

Outside my window… gray and yucky when I got up. Much nicer now though probably still cold.

I am thinking… that it was a good idea to give Daniel some Benadryl after his second (?) vomit episode this morning. He’s on juice and Cheerios at the moment and we’ll add stuff in as he does better.

I am thankful… for the goulash and spaetzle I brought home with me from my parents’ house. It was two meals worth that I didn’t have to cook.

In the kitchen… the leftover goulash and spaetzle. Also coming up with meatless ideas for this week.

I am wearing… blue maternity shirt and penguin pajama bottoms.

I am creating… ideas for posts for my Occupying Lent category.

I am going… to check on Daniel when I’m done with this.

I am wondering… why my Obama button looks so skewed on Firefox even though I re-sized it and re-uploaded the smaller version.

I am reading… Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis by Lauren Winner. I also snuck in The Chocolate Castle Clue by JoAnna Carl this weekend.

I am hoping… I don’t have a dentist visit this week given my jaw pain.

I am looking forward to… my massage on Friday and my brother and sister-in-law coming on Saturday.

Around the house… clean living room floor. Yay!

I am pondering… what to write about on Wednesday when I start my Occupying Lent series.

A favorite quote for today… “The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… teryaki chicken at my favorite sushi/noodle bar.

A few plans for the rest of the week: PT tomorrow, speech and Ash Wednesday on Wednesday, OT on Thursday, massage and cleaning on Friday, and time with family on Saturday.

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The Simple Woman’s Daybook: February 13, 2012

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY February 13, 2012

Outside my window… gray and looking like the rain is coming back.

I am thinking… about all that I have to do.

I am thankful… for the gifts given to us by the parish yesterday.

In the kitchen… dishes to do.

I am wearing… my black “Governator” t-shirt and my blue striped pajama bottoms. It’s the extent of my clean clothes other than my jeans and “going out” stuff after Daniel spewed his lunch on me.

I am going… out to get diapers and stuff as soon as Jon has changed out of his work clothes.

I am wondering… if Lisa of All Things Gale has had her baby yet. (Just checked her site and there’s no word yet.)

I am reading… Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis by Lauren Winner. I didn’t cry during my last session of reading so that’s a plus.

I am hoping… that the antenna still works even though half of one of the arms broke off.

I am looking forward to… Daniel going to bed tonight and being able to watch “Hart of Dixie”.

Around the house… don’t want to think about it.

I am pondering… what to do for my Lenten sacrifice.

One of my favorite things… minestrone soup from Olive Garden.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Valentine’s dinner at church tomorrow, peds appointment on Wednesday, OT on Thursday, massage on Friday, and whatever else pops up that needs doing.

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Giving Up Anxiety for Lent

I read some more of Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis by Lauren Winner and the two chapters/reflections that touched me were the ones on anxiety.

In one, she talks about checking obsessively to make sure her driver’s license is there when she’s on the road to the airport as well as worrying about if she’s turned off the stove and envisions her house burning down. I don’t have those particular two fears but I obsess about whether I locked the car door frequently and I’ve been known to worry about things happening in the future. She talks about her friend suggesting that she give up anxiety for Lent. Her friend’s wife asked if she was going to have a major panic attack come Easter if she does this.

In another, she talks about her friend suggesting that she give up anxiety for Lent. She finds a prayer in the Book of Common Prayer that helps her out with this and another friend tells her about distancing herself from an emotion for 15 minutes. All are good and she also talks about her experience with medication. She spoke of her experiences coming off of the medication (which are eerily familiar to my experiences with them trying to get me off of Effexor XR when I was pregnant).

This book (again) has been an interesting read for me just because I’ve been through a lot of the things she discusses. Even though I haven’t divorced Jon and my parents are still alive, I’ve dealt with crushing anxiety in my life and I can understand her reactions, even if they haven’t been mine. The physical toll of my anxiety are the weakening of my (already crappy) immune system and migraines. In her case, it was tingling in her joints. I’ve had severe panic attacks but none all that publicly.

I will be interested to see what the rest of the book has in store for me.

And no, giving up anxiety for Lent is not on the agenda.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: February 6, 2012

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY February 6, 2012

Outside my window… cloudy and chilly (at least to me). We might get some showers which would be great because we need the rain but not so great because it might cancel PT tomorrow.

I am thinking… that there has to be a middle ground between keeping one’s mouth shut so as not to offend anyone and this which is rage-filled yelling.

I am thankful… for my massage last Friday.

In the kitchen… Jon cooked up a ton of stuff for himself for the Super Bowl yesterday.

I am wearing… my preeclampsia survivor shirt and capri sweats.

I am creating… this entry. 🙂

I am going… to Bible study tonight. It’s Men’s Night Out so I’ll be taking Daniel with me. The ladies love him so it should be OK.

I am wondering… when my stomach will calm down. Evil antibiotics! (I can hear my mom’s voice telling me to start eating some yogurt to build my intestinal flora back up.)

I am reading… Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis by Lauren Winner. It’s a bit of a tough read because I can identify with many of the things she says even if I’m not in the same circumstances.

I am hoping… we do end up having PT tomorrow — it’s been two weeks since Daniel’s last session.

Around the house… next question!

I am pondering… my Quick Takes for this week.

A favorite quote for today… “An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.” — C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… my new laptop. 🙂

A few plans for the rest of the week: PT tomorrow, speech on Wednesday, OT on Thursday, and nothing on Friday.

A peek into my day… Someone likes his bottom shelves of our bookcases.

Naptime in the bookcase.

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7 Quick Takes — Coughs, Books, and Women’s Health Politics

7 Quick Takes

Dude… everyone and their mother did Quick Takes last week! It took me DAYS to get through all the entries with me reading 40 entries a day. It was good to see some new people as well as some who haven’t participated for awhile.

— 1 —

I finally went to see the doctor about the cough that has been lingering from my MUTANT DEATH COLD at Thanksgiving. I ended up seeing Dr. Passive Aggressive and his thought was that it was probably a side effect of the Lisinopril (my blood pressure medication — I am the phenotypical embodiment of every negative gene on both sides of the family). He switched me to another one (whose name I can’t remember and should learn in the event that I end up in the E.R.), put me on Doxycycline to nuke any potential bronchitis as bronchitis and asthma don’t mix well (apparently, I actually looked like I was sick because of the sleep deprivation), and gave me a lab slip which I’ll deal with next week when I’m not binging on cough drops. (That whole fasting from midnight onward doesn’t work when you require cough drops to numb your throat so that maybe you can sleep.) I am also having to sleep in the recliner because I have coughing spasms when I lie down. OK… end of whining about this particular thing.

— 2 —

I finally finished Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. The siege of Galbatorix’ capital and the fight between him and Eragon is maddening to read because it feels like it stalls but it was good. The chapters after the demise of Galbatorix kind of drag because you want things decided and wrapped up quickly. (OK… spoiler there but seriously, the book’s ending is going to suck if Eragon doesn’t win.) Still, it was a wonderful read and I will be downloading the other three books onto my NOOK so that one fine day, I can read all four in order.

— 3 —

I guest-posted on A Day in the Life this week. Emily put out the invitation for the married ladies (and single ones too if they had anything to say on the subject) to do a guest post on the subject of our vocations as wives. It’s kind of scary that I’m probably the oldest contributor and I’m only 31 (32 in May)! Do some women who have been married longer than I have (10 years in March) have anything to add? If you do, please talk to Emily.

— 4 —

The home visit portion of ABA training is tomorrow (Friday) morning at 11:00. I’m having an attack of “OMG-I-suck-as-a-mother-because-Daniel-doesn’t-fit-into-this-little-box” flipping out because I’m not getting exactly three seconds of eye contact and OMG Daniel isn’t at 100% for putting on his shirt (the skill I’m teaching for it). My mom talked me off the ledge on Tuesday night and explained that none of this means that I’m a loser mother and that they do understand that kids (especially autistic ones) do not perform on command. The whole reason I’m flipping out is that Friday’s visit determines whether or not we receive services for Daniel through the Regional Center.

**UPDATE** We passed with flying colors. The person doing the home visit was impressed with the work I’d done with Daniel and with his skill level. This is one more check off my list as I trudge toward March 26th and his IEP.

— 5 —

I signed the petition to have the HHS mandate rescinded. I know that my pro-choice friends probably think I’m traitorous for doing so but… while I support the idea that health plans need to provide access to birth control that isn’t prohibitively expensive, I also believe that there should be a way for those whose conscience is violated by this to opt out. It’s not just THE CATHOLICS but also Jews and some conservative Protestant groups. If President Obama or Secretary Sebelius could come up with a way to do this, the firestorm would probably die down. I think their idea is good in theory (my birth control pills are mitigating out the PMS that can land me in bed for a week out of the month) but they failed to take the faith issue into account.

I also wanted to share this piece that was written by my favorite KU med student Katie of NFP and Me. Katie, thanks for letting your combox be taken over for discussions.

— 6 —

My new laptop arrived today (Thursday). It was worth being woken up from my nap to answer the door. I’m glad it’s here so that I don’t have to keep harassing the Fed Ex drivers that stop on my block. It’s an HP dvt6 and I’ll be transferring stuff over this weekend after I can get myself to Best Buy to get a migration cable. In the tradition of naming my personal electronics after titles for Orthodox priests’ wives, this one will be “Presbytera” which is the Greek Orthodox title. (My iPod is “Panimatushka” and my NOOK is “Popadija”.)

— 7 —

Given that my homeboys (the 49’ers) got knocked out by the Giants last week, I think I’ll be rooting for New England this weekend. I’m not a football person and I don’t understand how the game works. However, the 49’ers game the weekend before last was excellent (and I actually watched it) so I might watch the Super Bowl to see if it’s even close. Of course, there’s the most important thing: THE COMMERCIALS!!!!!

For more Quick Takes, visit Hallie at Betty Beguiles who is graciously taking over hosting for the next few weeks.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: January 30, 2012

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY January 30, 2012

Outside my window… dusk. It was in the 50’s or 60’s today, I think. It was shirt-sleeve weather at least.

I am thinking… about ABA stuff for this Friday.

I am thankful… for the weekend with my mom in San Jose and that Daniel responded so well to her working with him.

In the kitchen… Crystal Light Peach Tea. (Haven’t figured out dinner yet.)

I am wearing… charcoal grey shirt from Lady Foot Locker and navy sweats.

I am creating… this entry.

I am going… nowhere until Wednesday if I have any say in the matter.

I am wondering… if the stuff my doctor gave me this morning will stop the lingering cough from the Mutant Death Cold that I had at Thanksgiving (and that landed Daniel in the hospital). His theory is that my blood pressure medication (Lisinopril) is likely causing it but put me on an antibiotic (Doxycycline) because I’m asthmatic and he’s afraid of bronchitis sprouting in me.

I am reading… Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. I’m probably within 30 pages of the end but I don’t get much quiet reading time and didn’t finish it at lunch today.

I am hoping… I sleep tonight. I haven’t really gotten any sleep for a week and it made the power outage this morning throw me for a loop. (A transformer blew a few blocks away and 1300 people lost power. The weird thing is that those across the street didn’t and I don’t think my next door neighbors did.)

I am looking forward to… Ladies’ Night Out on Wednesday as well as “Hart of Dixie” on TV tonight.

Around the house… Jon cleaned while I was gone this weekend. I’m thankful for this.

I am pondering… waaaaay too many things right now.

One of my favorite things… pesto bagels with garlic shmear from the bagel shop near my parents’ house. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it over there on Sunday before they closed. Rats!

A few plans for the rest of the week: PT tomorrow, speech and Ladies’ Night Out on Wednesday, OT on Thursday, and the ABA home visit along with my massage on Friday. Jon also has a couple funerals this week.

A peek into my day… This is Trail Kitty, my parents’ sissy Maine Coon cat. He’s a handsome boy but is afraid of his own (raccoon) tail. I got some petting time with him this weekend before he took off for his loft in the garage.

Trail Kitty, my parents' sissy Maine Coon Cat.

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