Needeh kittehs. Homer is being excessively needy today, which is something considering how needy he is normally. He has been on my lap a few times today and is currently causing me to type this one-handed so I can pet him.
Helping house panthers. If you’re a lover of the black kittehs like I am, go here to look at cat pictures, help with psychological research, and help the black ones (who are the least likely to be adopted) find homes.
Ouchie! I went to the beach on Monday in new water shoes that were not tight enough on my heels and between all the sand and water that got in there, I ended up with some pretty foul blisters. They’re bad enough that I’ll be in flip-flops for at least the next few weeks.
John McCain. Samantha Bee put it best when she said last year that an election is usually between two fundamentally decent people with a difference of opinion. (Obviously, 45 is an exception to this rule.) John McCain is a decent human being who has served his country both in the military and in Congress. My thoughts and prayers are with his family at this time. (He is also one of only two Republicans for whom I have voted — I voted for him in the primary in California in 2000 to try and knock Bush Jr. out of the race.)
Shared Quote… From CarouselConductor, a poster in one of the subreddits I frequent:
Loss. Whether a death, estrangement, or any other kind.
Losing someone leaves a hole. This hole is in the shape of the person who is gone. It has ragged, bleeding edges that hurt with every movement. It’s hard to even consider this void, because even looking at it brings pain. All you can do is hope that something fills it in, because it’s too wide. Too deep. Too open.
And then time passes. You remember the person, talk about them, the good times, the bad. The bleeding edges are still painful, but somehow, you can approach them a little closer. It’s tender, but the bleeding has been slowed. The void is keenly felt, and you wonder what it will take for it to just go away.
More time passes. It’s not so bad, when you look at the hole, now. You might be wondering when it will fill in. If you get too close, you can still see the echo of the person who left the hole. Peering into it might still be too much, and nothing moves the same way anymore. But the bleeding has stopped and the pain isn’t there every time you move.
As even more time goes by, you start to realize that things feel different, but that raging pain is more of a distant ache, now. If you look at the hole, you find that the edges are scarred over. The void is still there. The shape of what made it is still recognizable. And then you realize that the hole is there, and it will always be there.
The topography of what makes you, you, has changed.
The ragged edges have healed over and you find that in that thing you thought was a bottomless pit of pain, there is now a well of memories. It’s up to you if you visit for a time, or simply walk on by.
Give yourself time for the hole to heal. And it will heal, regardless of abstracts like forgiveness, regrets, blame, or anger. Even if it doesn’t seem like it.
Please seek help when dealing with the trauma of loss. No one should go through grief alone.
Closing Notes: My kickboxing class was cancelled for the fall and they emailed me today to let me know that I have priority enrollment for a yoga class they are adding.
My mom laughed at me when I told her, commenting that it’s another form of stress management. I looked at her and replied that I have a deep need to punch and kick things and they just took away my ability to do this!!!!
*goes off to sulk and find a local kickboxing class*
Memories. All of the memories and pictures of me putting my bedroom furniture together are coming up in my “On This Day” feature on Facebook. When I shared one of the pictures, I commented that my mom had to hide the flame thrower for a couple days because IKEA does not drill holes correctly and I managed to hammer a nail into my fingers… TWICE. (This was about the time my mom created a list of errands for me to do BY MYSELF because I think she was afraid of the words I might teach Daniel. (Little does she know that Daniel has heard ALL of those words before while driving with me in Sacramento traffic.)
It was a dark and stormy night… Technically, it’s not dark yet but it’s been a very windy night. We’ve had gale warnings and there’s a small craft advisory out on the Sound right now. The rain seems to have passed but it was a good day to be inside!
Tea for two… or seven. My priest invited me and some of her other mom friends to a “mothers’ survival tea” today and it was wonderful. There’s a tea room on the second floor of a granary in the downtown area and it was a nice and intimate location for lunch. I had a lovely Caesar salad for my first course while others had a zucchini-pear soup or a casoulet. The tea sandwiches were excellent and the chocolate zucchini bread was excellent. I was bummed to have to leave early to go to a therapy appointment!
Grades are in. I have a solid 4.0 (all A’s, no A- at all) for the third straight quarter! I’m applying to be a tutor next year in my department because I loved working with my classmates in various subjects.
And for my troll, friends of mine who teach gun safety (including a few LEO’s) are quick to point out that people with concealed weapons are not helpful in this kind of situation because they add to the chaos and end up getting shot themselves.
Bad behavior. I’ve seen two instances of bad behavior in the 36 hours since the shooting in Alexandria. One was Newt Gingrich being interviewed and ranting about the radicalization of the far left. Yeah… the ones who have been fighting for gun control? Nice try.
The second instance of bad behavior was someone commenting that the Republicans deserved for this to happen because of what they’ve been doing to this country. Ummm… no. *NOBODY* deserves to be shot or to be in a place where someone opens fire.
One of the students from my entering class at UCSC was Gabby Giffords’ director of community outreach Gabe Zimmerman and was killed at that event where she was shot by Jared Lee Loughner. He was in a different residential college than I was so we’re not sure if I had any classes with him but he was friends with some of my friends. When Congressman Scalise was shot, Gabby was one of the first to speak out and her statement was powerful. Let’s follow her example and come together over this.
End of the quarter. I am two tests, two quizzes, a discussion post, a report, and an amended PowerPoint presentation away from being done with the quarter. The quizzes, discussion post, and report will be tackled on Sunday. PowerPoint will be amended either tomorrow or Saturday. The tests will be taken on Monday and Tuesday. After that, I AM DONE!!!
Unbelievable. I’ve been getting a lot of “On This Day” things on Facebook about Daniel this week because it has been 8 years (as of the 7th) since we were able to bring him home from the hospital. It’s so amazing to think that my tiny baby is now only a foot shorter than I am!
Getting fur out of my keyboard. Homer, my gorgeous grey loaner cat, is being extra affectionate tonight which is wonderful… except that my keyboard now has quite a bit of fur in it! *goes off to find a can of compressed air to clean it*
In light of today… In light of the travesty perpetrated by the House today, I recommend watching this video of Jimmy Kimmel talking about his newborn and their scary time with a happy ending. (WARNING: Have lots of tissue nearby.)
Accounting. We’re doing corporate bonds right now in my Accounting class and our test covering them and the two chapters on stock is next Monday/Tuesday. (It opens online at noon on Monday and has to be completed by 11:55 p.m. on Tuesday.) I got a 95.5% on the first test of the quarter (taken Good Friday) and I feel pretty comfortable with the material so hopefully I’ll do well?