As I’ve mentioned in several recent Quick Takes, I’m addicted to Judge Judy. I love that she is very to-the-point about what she thinks and that she does not suffer fools gladly by any stretch of the imagination. Jessica of Grumbling & Gratitude expressed an interest in seeing a Quick Takes on this subject so… here are life lessons gained by watching Judge Judy. (What can I say? I am to please.)
Do not co-sign for a loan unless you happen to be married to your fellow signer. I think about 25-40% of the cases presented deal with this one. It’s usually a girlfriend who co-signs for a car loan with her boyfriend and wants the car back when they break-up or who wants their ex to make the payments even though the car is in the girlfriend’s name. This also takes place after the parties have only been dating for a month. Anybody else see a problem with this one? I don’t think I’d be ready to decide ANYTHING long-term after only dating someone for a month, especially something that could potentially screw up my credit rating.
If you’re going to move in with your paramour pre-marriage or with a friend, at least wait until you’ve known them for more than a month because most leases are not month-to-month and breaking them is expensive. Another popular theme is roommate break-ups where one roommate claims the other owes them back rent, utilities, and all that because the other moved out before the lease was up. Again, one month is not long enough to know someone well enough to want to do something that will affect my credit. I could probably share an apartment with friends but there would have to be a written-out roommate agreement as to who would do what. (I will cook and clean the kitchen and clean floors but I hate anything that involves the bathroom.)
Get everything in writing because oral contracts aren’t binding. It’s amazing how many people go on the show and claim that the other party claimed that they would pay back money/make payments on the car/pay X for the apartment/do _______ and are suing that party for not holding up their part of the oral contract. In nearly every case, Judge Judy tells them that they should have gotten it in writing because anyone can claim that someone said they’d do something. Seriously, this is almost a no-brainer.
You are not immune from paying people back a loan just because “you don’t feel like it”. These are the cases that crack me up due to sheer stupidity. If someone loans you money, you’re a complete schmuck if you don’t make good on the loan. In almost 100% of those cases, the judgement is for the plaintiff and the moral of the story according to the plaintiff is not to loan friends/adult children money.
Your parents don’t owe you anything past the age of 18/high school graduation except love. They don’t owe you a car, unlimited credit on their credit cards, free room and board in any dwelling other than their house, or anything else. I’ve seen parents who co-sign for car loans for their adult kids and then get stuck making payments while the adult child keeps the car and is supported financially by the parent. I’ve seen parents who take their kids’ debts and put them on their credit cards with the expectation that the kid will pay it back in a timely fashion while the kid thinks the parent should just tell the credit card company to kiss off and forgive the debt. I’ve also seen parents who give their child a credit card to buy things to start their career and the child runs up a huge bill of frivolous stuff. In all these cases, the parent is suing the kid to recover the debt and the child acts like an entitled brat in court. This is actually one of the things Judge Judy takes on in her most recent book Keep It Simple Stupid. Seriously, don’t screw your parents over if they decide to help you out. Pay them back what you owe, don’t abuse the credit card, and don’t put them on the hook for your car payments. Parents, wise up. Teach your kids to be responsible and stand on their own two feet.
If you borrow something and cause damage/destroy it, man up and pay for the damage. A number of cases involve property or a car borrowed and damaged by the borrower. The borrower usually thinks that they shouldn’t have to pay for the damage because it was an accident. Hello? Does the word “responsibility” mean anything? In the case of a totalled car, you don’t have to pay for a new one but you should ideally pay the deductible or whatever is left on the loan. With other types of property, pay for the damage or replace the property. It’s the adult thing to do as well as the morally right one.
People will take you more seriously if you behave like an adult. I really wonder where people learn their manners because some of them seem to think that her courtroom is an extension of “The Jerry Springer Show”. There are usually several warnings and threats from Judge Judy that she’s going to throw them out of the courtroom and/or dismiss their case if they don’t stop interrupting the other party or her. Don’t interrupt her. Just don’t. It’s not pretty as to what happens when people do that. 10% of the people also come to court dressed like they are going to be guests on Jerry Springer, an offense that also earns a rebuke from her.
Keep your hands to yourself. She makes no bones about the fact that she doesn’t tolerate assault. I think there is at least one case a day where someone claims to have been assaulted and she tells whoever did the assault that they should not have put their hands on the other person. In a few cases, she has awarded punitive damages. One thing she is strict about: you need photos and a police report to document it — I think this comes from her background in Family Court. If you didn’t call the police or seek medical attention, the burden of proof is pretty iffy that you actually were assaulted. Another category here is injuries you cause through stupidity. If you were drunk and sucker-punched a friend, you are liable for the bills to repair their eye socket and everything else. If you put someone in a choke hold (even as a joke to get attention from a girl) and they pass out, you’re going to be paying for their medical care.
BOTH parents need to be involved in their childrens’ lives. In a few cases, the mother has refused to let the father see the children and Judge Judy has lit into her for that. If there isn’t a danger in letting the kids have access to both parents, she is adamant that both parents be allowed to interact with the kids. She also is very intentional about making sure that the non-custodial parent pays support. Again, this is probably a holdover from her family court days.
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