I didn’t have anything together for a costume this year so I just donned my black cat ears and tail from last year.Â On my way to work, I realized that I needed something else so that I didn’t look like I did a halfway job.Â Then… it hit me!Â I needed a mouse!
When I got to work, I “borrowed” a mouse from a co-worker’s computer, duct-taped the cord into a manageable loop and dangled it from my pocket.Â All day, I’d hold it up when someone walked by and say, “Look!Â I caught a mouse!”
Yes… I am a geek.
I have the Reformation Day polka from OldLutheran.Com posted here and it’s been getting spammed all week so I finally closed comments on it.
The last two days, my spammers have been fundie weirdoes telling me about eschatology and how I’m going to hell for some reason.Â I’ve deleted off most of the comments but I kept this one (and responded to it) because it’s so off-the-wall bizarre.
What Reformation Day really is is this:Â The Reformed doctrine is a reformation of Satan’s character.Â The Reformed doctrine asserts that Satan is under the direct micromanagerial control of Christ, that “the Devil is God’s Devil and only does what God wants.”Â Thus, by asserting that the devil does as God makes him, and that alone, the devil is Reformed into being an obedient puppet of God.Â In the process, however, God is Reformed into being as bad as the Devil.Â Thus, the Reformed (i.e. Calvinists) chose to place their holiday on October 31st to coincide with the Devil’s holiday, which is Halloween.Â But Paul says that Christ has no concord with Belial (i.e. the Devil) in 2nd Corinthians 6:15.Â The Reformed position is a denial of this very important distinction between Christ and Belial and was invented by Belial specifically to convince men that he is nothing more than Christ’s sock-puppet and thus Belial causes men to blaspheme Christ and go to hell.
GET A FREAKING LIFE AND STOP TROLLING PEOPLES’ BLOGS, YOU LOSER!!!!!
Around 1:00 this morning, I realized that I couldn’t fight this on my own and I needed treatment.Â I woke Jon up and he took me to the E.R.Â Thankfully, Dr. Awesome was there and agreed to see me even though she wasn’t the on-call doctor.Â (Our chief-of-medicine was on-call and seeing him would have likely resulted in me throwing things and lunging at him with sharp, pointy objects.Â He has no bedside manner, a god complex, and he is incapable of dealing with women who have mental health issues.)
Dr. Awesome spoke with the psychiatrist on call in Great Falls and they decided to give me some Zyprexa to calm me down.Â She also admitted me for observation and had them put me on an IV to give me fluids as I was throwing up from the panic attack.Â The IV was pretty traumatic because it took two tries to get it in and both were excruciatingly painful.Â (I started just weeping after the first try and they had to wrap my hands/arms in warm blankets to get a vein up for a second try.)
I didn’t really sleep well until this morning after my meds and my shower.Â (Yes, I got to shower.Â It probably helped more than anything else.)Â After I ate breakfast (which turned out to be fairly good), I just crashed and slept for the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon.Â They discharged me around 4 with instructions to come back if the panic returned.Â Dr. Awesome also put me back on the Effexor XR and after taking it this morning at my pre-pregnancy dose, I started feeling much better than I had for the last week.
I have to go see Dr. Awesome this week to discuss the risks of the Effexor and figure out what to do in terms of the pregnancy.Â It’s a Class C medication which means that it *might* cause birth defects (in my case, a congenital heart issue) but I think everyone is agreeing that for me, the benefits outweigh the risks.
So… please continue to pray.Â I need to say thanks to Dayna, Krissy, and Cheryl who have sent emails and Facebook messages in addition to Rich’s wonderful comment on the last entry.Â I really appreciate y’all.
Pray for me.Â I’m really having to fight to not hurt myself tonight — the panic is THAT bad.
I can now understand why my former therapist used to sign off on abortions for women with bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, and other mental conditions that go haywire when mixed with pregnancy hormones.
No… I’m not going to abort the sea monkey — the anticipated joy of being a mommy is so much bigger than the evil stuff I’m struggling with now.
Let me just say… Effexor withdrawl is a bitca!!!Â (Yes, I spelled that right.Â It’s a Buffy reference and you can thank Pisco for it.)
Effexor XR is a class C medication which means that they don’t know if it’s OK for pregnant women so… my doctor decided to take me off of it.Â She gave me a taper pack instead of having me go off cold turkey.Â Half my dosage was fine — it’s probably what I should have been on all along.Â A quarter of my dosage?Â Dizzy spells and MASSIVE panic attacks.Â Panic attacks so bad that I had to leave work early yesterday.
I saw Dr. Awesome today and she told me to get my butt onto the Wellbutrin that she had prescribed me (it’s a class B medication which means it’s unlikely to hurt the baby).Â She also told me to get some rest and gave me a doctor’s note to excuse me from work for the next couple days.
The other reason I haven’t blogged a lot: my parents were here this weekend.Â This was a good thing but really tiring.Â On Saturday, we went up to St. Mary Lake and it was pretty though rainy.Â I get to see them once or twice a year so this was really nice.
I’m having a sea monkey around June 20th.
My father-in-law Ray deserves major props as he is delivering a paper at a Lutheran historical conference in New York on Monday.Â I’m very proud of him and glad to be part of the family.