7 Quick Takes: Court Edition

7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

Travel. All of my flights went well other than my flight from Bellingham to Seattle being late on Monday and my flight to Bellingham on Tuesday involving horrible turbulence because of a weather system over the Whatcom County line. (I’m not a nervous flyer at all and even I was white-knuckling this one.) My hotel room was lovely and my rental car was great. I got to patronize the Qdoba in the Central Terminal off the C concourse both days even though I had a tight connection on Monday. (I was sitting next to the flight attendants for my San Jose flight who were deadheading from Bellingham. They told me I had time to grab food even though it was a tight connection and they’d make sure I got on my plane. They were right.)

— 2 —

Court. The only way I can put it was that it was brutal. The judge who was supposed to hear the case was elevated to the appellate court and we got a judge who had been on the bench for three days. It was really painful to have to sit there and listen to everything that was said about me. Nothing was conclusively decided and the case was continued to March. I had been made to fly down for this hearing, so I’m more than a little irritated at this.

— 3 —

Lenten devotional. I went straight from court to the airport on Tuesday and tried to channel my pain into editing reflections for my parish’s Lenten devotional booklet. I got quite a bit done and reading the reflections was a blessing to me.

— 4 —

My swearing. You know you might swear a little too much when you text your priest about how court went and she tells you to call her while also mentioning that she is looking forward to learning some new swear words. (She has a fouler mouth than I do so I didn’t teach her anything new.)

— 5 —

Daniel. I prepped like mad for this trip with regard to Daniel’s routine and care. My mom got an updated control journal for him and I did things like prep his lunches ahead of time and lay out his clothes so she could get him through the evening, morning, and afternoon I was gone without having to think too much. (I should add that my mom raised twins and backs me up 100% with Daniel’s care, so he was in the most capable hands with her. He also adores her which helps.) I was worried about him not sleeping but she got him to sleep just fine and handled his wake-up at 3 a.m. without a problem. She and my dad took him for “adventures” to Costco, Fred Meyer, and Haggen after school on Tuesday as well, which was fun for him. He was a happy kid while I was gone, but he was definitely relieved to see me.

— 6 —

State of the Uniom. (Yes, the misspelling is intentional. It was a typo on the tickets.) I haven’t watched it yet or read the transcripts. My life is depressing enough without reading about 45’s nonsense.

— 7 —

How I’m doing now. I’m worn out, not sleeping well, still feeling the sting of what Jon’s attorney said about me, and battling depression. Having to attend this hearing rebroke my heart, and the wound from having to file for divorce had the scab ripped off of it. I really want to crawl under the covers and curl up in a fetal position, but I don’t have that option. Instead, I’m dragging myself out of bed for class and doing what I need to do in order to parent Daniel because he needs a functional mama.

I don’t talk a lot about my divorce on here because it isn’t fair to Jon to have our dirty laundry aired, but know that it was not a decision I made lightly. Making it felt like I was being ripped in half.

For more Quick Takes, visit Kelly at This Ain’t The Lyceum.

The 20-Week Abortion Ban

I was asked by a couple friends to weigh in on this because I’m one of those people who would qualify for a late-term abortion because of the pregnancy endangering my life.

My take is this: If faced with the decision, I will always decide to save myself first, but I will also argue for them to save the baby if at all possible.

The quote that most accurately reflects my experience is this one from former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop:

Protection of the life of the mother as an excuse for an abortion is a smoke screen. In my 36 years of pediatric surgery, I have never known of one instance where the child had to be aborted to save the mother’s life. If toward the end of the pregnancy complications arise that threaten the mother’s health, the doctor will induce labor or perform a Caesarean section. His intention is to save the life of both the mother and the baby. The baby’s life is never willfully destroyed because the mother’s life is in danger.

The argument for perinatal hospice has also come up on my Facebook wall and if faced with this decision, I would probably choose to carry my baby for as long as I could before it threatened my life. At that point, I would have them deliver the baby and do whatever I had to do in order to have as much time with my kid as possible.

Tommy Tighe of The Catholic Hipster went through this with his son Luke and he blogged about it.

This quote by C. Everett Koop describes my feeling on the whole issue:

The American ideal is not that we all agree with each other, or even like each other, every minute of the day. It is rather that we will respect each other’s rights, especially the right to be different, and that, at the end of the day, we will understand that we are one people, one country, and one community, and that our well-being is inextricably bound up with the well-being of each and every one of our fellow citizens.

The current pro-life view I see (which really irritates me) is that the mother must carry the child to term and then she’s on her own to raise it because doing otherwise would mean she is a leech on society. If we expect every mother to carry her child, we had better be putting things in place like WIC and early intervention and SSI to allow her to take care of her child once they are born. We need to do things to support the parents of kiddos who are premature and of kiddos who die at birth. To do otherwise is hypocritical.

I also wish people would realize that we’re not talking about an abstract issue. I am a human being as is every woman who faces this decision, so I wish people would stop the Monday morning quarterbacking and stop pretending they know exactly how things should play out. It is horrendously painful to listen to people discuss this who have never faced it and who never will.