Our poster today is Jenna who has mad coding skillz because I didn’t have to even *TOUCH* her piece — I just cut and pasted it without having to mess with with aligning pictures or anything.

I did something really original with my Catholic mom blog: I named it after a verse in Proverbs 31…I know, right? But, there is a reason we are all so in love with this Proverb: we often complain that being a wife and mother doesn’t come with instructions, but here they are. It is laid out pretty clearly. Our pesky human-ness just makes it a little difficult to follow.

So, which verse is my blog named for? Proverbs 31:28. And I like a lesser used translation, so my verse is from the good ol’ NRSV.

²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband too, and he praises her:
²⁹ ??Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.??

Her children rise up

Let’s start with a hard one. For me, this is THE hardest. This part implies that the mother is already awake when her children rise. She didn’t set an alarm with good intentions only to turn it off without a second thought each and every morning. Who would do that? I’m sorry. I would. I would do that.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: The only thing that has ever even come close to motivating me is this amazing post. Genius, seriously.

and call her happy

If someone asked your kids to describe you, what would they say? I’m pretty sure they would say something of the vague variety (mommy is nice but she yells sometimes). Take that with a grain of salt; they have no idea what they are talking about half of the time. But, what about when they get older? How will they remember you? Always sitting on the couch with a laptop? (Mine might…) Always complaining/procrastinating/making excuses/fill in your own blank?

On top of considering our children’s views of our own happiness, what are we teaching them about theirs? Do we show them an example of happiness so they know how to deal with other emotions? Everyone experiences the whole gamut of emotions, of course, but a truly happy person can gracefully deal with moments (and sometimes long periods) of sadness, despair, anger and the like.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: People often put a lot of emphasis on finding your passion in life, getting a hobby, surrounding yourself with good friends. It’s not always that easy. Instead, find the happiness in the mundane. Instead of dreading and then rushing through the dishes, focus on the moment you are in. That is what you are doing in that moment. Be there.

her husband too

If you stay at home, does your evening look like this too: Husband comes home: “How was your day?” You say, “The kids were insane. I’m so tired. I can’t take this anymore. I need some me-time. Just don’t talk to me for a while.” Is that just me? I really try not to do this, but it happens. And, honestly, if it’s not every single day, Mike doesn’t really mind. In fact, he is super helpful. But, that kind of attitude easily becomes habit, especially if your husband is the very first adult-ish person you’ve seen all day. I don’t ever want to hide or bury my feelings when it comes to Mike, but overall, I want him to see me as a happy individual.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: Remind yourself that your husband doesn’t deserve your leftovers. Start your conversation with the happiness of your day before you lay it on him.

and he praises her

Is there any better feeling than when your husband is proud of something you do? Maybe I sound stupid saying that, but for me, it’s true. I mean, I married him for a reason: I really love him a whole lot. And, when someone you’re that crazy about loves what you’re doing and how you’re living, it’s pretty cool. Mike loves to brag about my blog and my freelancing. He thinks it’s so cool that I am able to stay home, do what I love and make money in the process. And, not so secretly, I get a little kick out of hearing him do it.

But, what about when no one notices what you’re doing each day? No one thanks you for dinner, for changing the empty toilet paper roll, for wiping that sticky crap off the wall. That’s usually the case, amiright? They don’t even notice, let alone praise you and give you all of the trophies and certificates you undoubtedly deserve. This part of the verse is asking a lot in regards to those feelings. Even if we aren’t getting the accolades, we need to do it anyway.

(Not So) Pro-Tip: This is so so so hard, but I try to keep one idea in mind (and I’m not saying I do this with extreme grace or even an ounce of it): we aren’t doing these things for the praise, or to make ourselves feel useful or even for our family believe it or not. We’re doing it for Him. You know who I mean. Him. We are taking care of our loved ones because God calls us to; it’s our vocation as wives and mothers. Darn, I know.

Oops. How did that get in there?

So, how do you live this verse? Any more pro-ish tips than I gave?

Jenna is a former HS English teacher turned stay-at-home-mom to her daughter Ellen and stay-at-home uterus to a baby boy unnamed at the moment. She spends her days taking care of her charges, freelancing and creating content for her blog, Call Her Happy. Sometimes she cleans things too.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. — Proverbs 31:27

I hate doing housework. I would rather do just about anything than housework. I can deal with doing laundry but I will do just about anything to get out of cleaning the bathroom. Dishes stress my lower back and I keep wishing for a parsonage with a dishwasher. The problem: entropy — things go from a state of order to disorder and in order to keep the nice CPS people out of the house, cleaning needs to happen from time to time.

In today’s verse, our virtuous woman is described as “watch[ing] over the affairs of her household” and “not eat[ing] the bread of idleness”. She was on top of everything that went on in her house so the beds had fresh linens, the food was procured and prepared, sashes were made to sell to the merchants, and all was where it needed to be. If she hadn’t been so aware of the state of her household, the family could possibly go hungry, there would be no light from lamps and candles after dusk, and her servants would fare worse than the family.

For me, being aware of the affairs of my household means that I keep track of the bills that need to be paid and I make sure that we have everything we need to function. This might not be everything we *want* in life but our needs are met. Not eating the bread of idleness means keeping up on the freelance editing work, the laundry so I have clean underwear and Daniel has clean clothes, and keeping the dishes under control so that I’m not drinking instant breakfast out of a measuring cup.

Stacy is a fellow crazy cat lady who is staff to Miss Buttercup. She is also one of the people who is slowly but surely tempting me to try coconut oil. 🙂

She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue. — Proverbs 31:26

I would love to be the type of woman that Proverbs 31 describes. Wouldn’t we all? I fall far short, but do love using the verses for inspiration, and also to keep myself in check. I can read over the verses and pinpoint exactly what I do and don’t identify with. Many of the things I don’t see in myself are things I need to work on or improve upon.

When I read verse 26, the first thing I thought was, “Yes, I am wise and I do speak with wisdom”. Just as soon as I finished patting myself on the back, I realized there was another half to that sentence. Not just that instruction should be on my tongue, but kindly instruction. See, this is where it gets iffy for me. I am pretty wise, and I am pretty good at giving instructions, but I fail miserably in the gentleness and kindness categories. God has given me the gift of being able to grapple with things, figure issues out, and He has gifted me with a big dose of common sense. He also blessed me with the ability to teach others, to guide, and to instruct. But what I constantly seek His grace on is how to show those skills as a wife with kindness. I can be biting, and I can even be caustic. No amount of wisdom or instruction matters if you aren’t able to relay it kindly, and that is a lesson I have been learning and relearning over the past several months of marriage. I know that I don’t want to be the type of wife who is constantly nagging, or who snaps at her husband because things don’t come as naturally to him… but that is who I am sometimes.

This verse reminds me of the work I have put into myself, and the work that needs to continue to benefit my husband, myself, and my relationship with God. I want to be the type of wife who can pass wisdom on to her husband in the most loving of ways. If I’m doing it right, I bet he won’t even know that that is what I’m doing! My husband, like yours probably, responds so much better when I approach things from love and gentleness. In fact, I’m quickly learning that my husband is more likely to retain my wisdom and instruction when I give it kindly than when I give it curtly. He is much more likely to pay attention to why I am saying something than how I am saying something when I speak to him the way he deserves. We unfortunately live in a culture where men are put down and even treated as an extra child. I’ve seen this in myself when I take the above verse and omit that one very important word. That isn’t the type of wife I want to be, nor the type of wife my husband deserves. Let’s use this verse as a reminder that our husbands will love us at our worst, but deserve our best. Let it remind us that our husbands will retain our wisdom and instruction when we give it to them kindly. And let it remind us that, when we open our mouths, we have a threefold responsibility in our vocation: to share our wisdom, to instruct with that wisdom, and to be kind in our instruction.

Stacy is a newlywed who blogs about faith, frugality, living with PCOS, and green living over at Catholic and Crunchy. Feel free to stop by!