This week’s topic: my goals for motherhood.
Yeah… it’s almost 1 a.m. and I’m wrestling with this and also the car sitch. (If you could say a quick prayer that Daniel and I could get to Sacramento and back tomorrow, I’d appreciate it.)
I think my goals would be…
For Daniel to grow up knowing that he is loved by us for who he is. I admit that this is a subject that can keep me up late at night because there is so much that we don’t know about the future. We don’t know what this coming school year holds, if he’ll start talking this year, or what skills he’ll pick up. I’m endlessly thankful that we have an ABA program at the local preschool and that the Regional Center is picking up the tab for his ABA therapy outside of school. I guess I just want him to know that Jon and I love him so incredibly much and will always love him, no matter what.
For Daniel to know his worth as a child of God. This pastor’s wife has no clue how to pass the faith on to her son. Go me. I am hoping that he’ll pick up on me praying with him before we eat and eventually, he’ll be able to sit through church even if it’s with a “busy bag”. I want him to know that he is a child of the living God and that Jesus died for his sins. I want him to know that God loves him. I want him to be able to go to God in prayer and approach Him like a child would approach their Father. For all I know, Daniel has an amazing spiritual life and knows that God loves him — Daniel isn’t verbal so I don’t know how he could communicate that to me.
For Daniel to be more than a kid with autism (or an adult with autism). He is autistic but that doesn’t necessarily define him. He has a fascination for how things work and how they are put together so maybe he’ll be an engineer or an electrician or something like that. The possibilities are endless.
To show Daniel an example of a godly woman so that he will hopefully see that quality in a future spouse. Again, this is one of those things where I have no idea what I’m doing other than just letting Daniel see me praying, singing hymns and spiritual songs to him, and being the woman God wants me to be. If he can pick up on me tossing my trash into the garbage can at Target and the way my mom recycles yard waste, he can probably pick up on this?
To show Daniel a good example of a healthy marriage. Again, this is kind of a monkey-see-monkey-do type of thing at the moment. I want him to know how to talk things out civilly with his future wife and to respect her. I want him to know that it’s OK to disagree on the small things and to pick his battles because you can’t die on every hill.
For Daniel to be independent. This will be one of those things on which we’ll be working with his ABA tutors. I want Daniel to know how to cook something relatively simple, how to wash/dry his clothes, how to shop for groceries, how to clean, and how to survive in the outside world because I’m not going to be around forever.
I guess overall, my goals is for Daniel be the best person he can be.