Category Archives: The A-Word

52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose: What Being A Mom Looks Like

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The topic this week: what being a mom looks like. I’m going to borrow Becky’s way of laying things out.

Being a mom looks like an octopus. I have joked for four years about waiting for my third arm to grow in and I keep being really disappointed that it hasn’t yet. It would enable me to hold Daniel propped against my waist while signing some kind of medical document while the third arm goes through my wallet looking for insurance cards. Another great scenario: one arm can be under Daniel who has fallen asleep in my lap while the other two type things up.

Being a mom looks like a DVD player with a copy of “Winnie the Pooh” stuck in it. “Winnie the Pooh” allows me to get so incredibly much done in our house and I was never the mom who claimed that she would limit her kids’ screen time. (That would be seriously hypocritical of me.)

Being a mom looks like a bobblehead doll. I know that I do so much smiling and nodding at the crap people tell me about how to parent Daniel and the “advice” in parenting forums because it is either a.) absolute crap, b.) based on pseudoscience, c.) Sanctimommy sludge, or d.) all of the above. When Daniel was diagnosed with autism, I made the rule that I would only listen to advice from other autistic moms/grandmas because I would probably claw the other so-called “experts” to death. However, Jon really hates me shedding the blood of the stupid, so I do a lot of smiling and nodding.

Being a mom looks like a much-needed shower. I joke that if I can’t remember the last time I showered, it’s probably time. I can’t leave Daniel alone for 10 minutes in order to shower so any showers I get are while he’s sleeping, napping, at school, or being watched by someone else. I have a very simple hairstyle and I don’t wear make-up for this reason — I have no promise that I can do much past combing my hair and brushing my teeth when it comes to my morning beauty routine.

Being a mom looks like a candle lit in a church. Daniel figures into so many of my prayers and I have hopes and dreams for him. It’s not uncommon for me to duck into a church and light a candle for something when I’m out by myself.

Being a mom looks like a gymnastics coach after their athlete has nailed a perfect floor routine to win the Olympics. There has been pain, frustration, tears, and focus to reach a goal and when it finally happens, you want to pick up your child and spin them around.

Now go see Becky and what everyone else thinks of when imagining a mother.

7 Quick Takes: Prayer Set to Pop Music, Back to School Night, and News on Kaia

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7 Quick Takes

— 1 —

More than one way to pray. Mayim Bialik (“Amy Farrah Fowler” on The Big Bang Theory) linked up this video of the Listen Up! Jewish Vocal Band singing the Adon Olam to the tune of the Cup Song from “Pitch Perfect”. (There’s also a video of how they made the video.)

I remember teaching various “graces” to tunes like “Zippety Doodah” and “The Addams Family” theme song so it’s not surprising that you can fit various prayers into songs. “Amazing Grace” is another one that works well. I also remember figuring out how to set the Lutheran table grace (the linked version is all fancy, done in canon and then in 4-part harmony) to the tune of “Two Princes” by the Spin Doctors when Jon and I were off doing errands in Watertown, back when he was pastoring in Minnesota.

— 2 —

Camp song fun. The actions for the Cup Song remind me of the camp song, “It’s Not Hard I Tell You So”:

(And yes, I was totally the CIT and counselor who led the really off-the-wall camp songs. Fortunately for me, no recorded proof of this exists because I’d be paying major dollars to keep those quiet.)

— 3 —

Jim Gaffigan’s video “Mr. Universe”. I’ve been listening/watching “Mr. Universe” while I go to sleep lately. It’s positively lovely and it’s clean comedy. (I have it on at 2 a.m. as I’m typing this.) My tabby has been getting grumpy about this because it means that I’m not positioned correctly for him to climb on my side and displace my hips. Currently, he’s talking about McDonalds and is making me crave a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, some fries. and a Coke. (Yes, I’ve seen Supersize Me. I don’t think I ate anything from there for 5 years after that.)

— 4 —

Orphans Do you see these two darling children?

L-R: Brett and Iris
BrettIris

Brett still needs a mama. Iris finally has a family committed to her and they are in the homestudy stage.

Click on their names to see their Reece’s Rainbow pages.

— 5 —

Miss Kaia. I haven’t forgotten about Kaia.

Kaia

Her mama (and, I think, also her papa) are in her country to spring her from her orphanage either today or tomorrow. Once they’re all back in the States, I’ll update people with details of her actual name and everything.

— 6 —

Back to School Night. Daniel’s preschool had Back to School Night tonight and I went on behalf of Jon. It was good to go because I got the hand-out that Daniel’s teacher has given out to other parents before and that was helpful because it talks a little more about autism and ways to work with the kids. The parents of one of the kids who went off to kindergarten were there (their younger son is also autistic and in the class) so it was good to see them again and talk to them. It was also nice to find out that Daniel’s teacher prays for her kids and their families.

One other cool thing: they have an English class for some of the moms at the preschool and are looking for volunteers to help. I am not fluent in Spanish (the other mom is — she’s Mexican and her husband is Anglo) but I have experience teaching ESL so I’m going to email the principal about helping.

— 7 —

New Music. I realized this week that I had never heard “Fat-Bottomed Girls” by Queen so I went on YouTube to find it. Can we just say that I think it is freaking awesome? (I predict Jon cringing when he reads that last sentence.) I also realized that I hadn’t heard “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele before (it turns out that I’ve heard part it) so it’s playing on YouTube.

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at ConversionDiary.Com.

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: August 18, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY August 18, 2013

Outside my window… dark. It’s a full moon tonight though and I’m pretty sure my in-laws’ mew-mews are out being lions or something.

I am thinking… about all that I have to get done this week.

I am thankful… for a good visit down here and for my mother-in-law who has taken on a lot of Daniel duty so I can sleep in and take naps. She keeps me sane on these visits.

In the kitchen… cleaned up the leftovers from the manicotti that a neighbor brought over for Jon’s birthday dinner.

I am wearing… charcoal shirt and running shorts.

I am creating… blog entries.

I am going… to have a long drive back up to northern California tomorrow. I’ll actually be reading through most of it so I should hopefully be able to clear some of the “Mount TBR” on my NOOK.

I am wondering… what my kitties are up to back home.

I am reading… Confessions of a GP by Benjamin Daniels MD. It’s an interesting look at how the NHS looks in Britain in addition to anecdotes about his experiences as a doctor.

I am hoping… all goes well with my father-in-law’s surgery on Wednesday. If you could spare a prayer on his behalf, I’d appreciate it. His name is Ray.

I am looking forward to… my mani/pedi on Wednesday.

Around the house… nothing to report because my mother-in-law keeps a completely sterile house to the point that I could eat off of her kitchen floor.

I am pondering… what things to talk about for Thomas’ link-up. (If you have any thoughts/blog posts/etc on what was helpful when your kids were babies, go participate in the link-up. Thomas’ wife Alison is pregnant with twins and he’s picking the brain of the Internet on what to use.)

A favorite quote for today… ??When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of ‘No answer.’ It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace, child; you don’t understand.?? ? C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite things… solitude.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Daniel starts back to school on Tuesday, Morning Prayer on Tuesday, endocrinologist appointment and mani/pedi on Wednesday as well as my brother visiting, nothing on Thursday (thank God!), and ABA therapy on both Wednesday and Friday for Daniel

A peek into my day… My bed kitty while I’ve been down here. My cats are going to kill me.

Arthur

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{Virtual} Coffee Date (vol. 2)

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I’m stealing borrowing this idea from Karianna at Caffeinated Catholic Mama again. Go check out her site and find out what she’d tell you if you were having coffee with her. Starting next week, this will be a weekly link-up. 🙂

If we were having coffee, I would explain that I’m sipping on Pellegrini because I’m nauseated from bloodwork this morning. The nurse did a good job at having it be painless but I’m still feeling the effects of it. The garlicky shrimp chow main I had for breakfast didn’t help.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’m not sleeping well because I can’t get to sleep before a certain hour. I think if I were to do Compline on time, I’d be OK but my brain is hard to shut off at times. It’s a reason I tend to journal and blog at night — it makes my brain shut up quicker.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’m nervous about seeing my father-in-law because I know the progress of his cancer and it is making me really sad. I love him and I want to see him but I’m also a bit afraid. It’s complicated.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about Daniel vocalizing and babbling using various consonant sounds. I will admit I’m looking forward to him learning to talk and am tempted to smack the people who warn me that he’ll never shut up.

Thanks for having coffee (or tea) with me. See you next week!

52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose: My Goals for Motherhood

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This week’s topic: my goals for motherhood.

Just resetting the bear...

Yeah… it’s almost 1 a.m. and I’m wrestling with this and also the car sitch. (If you could say a quick prayer that Daniel and I could get to Sacramento and back tomorrow, I’d appreciate it.)

I think my goals would be…

For Daniel to grow up knowing that he is loved by us for who he is. I admit that this is a subject that can keep me up late at night because there is so much that we don’t know about the future. We don’t know what this coming school year holds, if he’ll start talking this year, or what skills he’ll pick up. I’m endlessly thankful that we have an ABA program at the local preschool and that the Regional Center is picking up the tab for his ABA therapy outside of school. I guess I just want him to know that Jon and I love him so incredibly much and will always love him, no matter what.

For Daniel to know his worth as a child of God. This pastor’s wife has no clue how to pass the faith on to her son. Go me. I am hoping that he’ll pick up on me praying with him before we eat and eventually, he’ll be able to sit through church even if it’s with a “busy bag”. I want him to know that he is a child of the living God and that Jesus died for his sins. I want him to know that God loves him. I want him to be able to go to God in prayer and approach Him like a child would approach their Father. For all I know, Daniel has an amazing spiritual life and knows that God loves him — Daniel isn’t verbal so I don’t know how he could communicate that to me.

For Daniel to be more than a kid with autism (or an adult with autism). He is autistic but that doesn’t necessarily define him. He has a fascination for how things work and how they are put together so maybe he’ll be an engineer or an electrician or something like that. The possibilities are endless.

To show Daniel an example of a godly woman so that he will hopefully see that quality in a future spouse. Again, this is one of those things where I have no idea what I’m doing other than just letting Daniel see me praying, singing hymns and spiritual songs to him, and being the woman God wants me to be. If he can pick up on me tossing my trash into the garbage can at Target and the way my mom recycles yard waste, he can probably pick up on this?

To show Daniel a good example of a healthy marriage. Again, this is kind of a monkey-see-monkey-do type of thing at the moment. I want him to know how to talk things out civilly with his future wife and to respect her. I want him to know that it’s OK to disagree on the small things and to pick his battles because you can’t die on every hill.

For Daniel to be independent. This will be one of those things on which we’ll be working with his ABA tutors. I want Daniel to know how to cook something relatively simple, how to wash/dry his clothes, how to shop for groceries, how to clean, and how to survive in the outside world because I’m not going to be around forever.

I guess overall, my goals is for Daniel be the best person he can be.

Daniel and I.

Now go see Becky and what everyone else has for goals.

{Virtual} Coffee Date (vol. 1)

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I’m stealing borrowing this idea from Karianna at Caffeinated Catholic Mama. Go check out her site and find out what she’d tell you if you were having coffee with her. Tell her also to make this a weekly link-up. 🙂

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about the dietary changes I’ve been having to make because of my PCOS and how there are a lot of days when I’ve maxed out my calories and am still hungry. I’m also getting sick of grilled shrimp and grilled chicken. I’m hoping that there’s enough weight loss to make my endocrinologist happy when I see her in a few weeks and that my sugars are good enough even though I’m not testing because meals tend to not be scheduled affairs.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about Daniel’s in-home ABA therapy and how he seems to be doing really well with his primary tutor. I’m present for sessions on Mondays and Wednesdays and Jon is there for Fridays. We’re trying to find a tutor to do Tuesdays and Thursdays so right now, it’s just 3 days a week.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about how hard I sobbed when I saw Katy Perry singing that duet of “Firework” with Jodi, a little girl with autism because it seriously illustrates some my frustrations at being the parent of a child with special needs and how much ambiguity there is in his future.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about Daniel falling asleep in my lap with me singing to him and how I’m resolving to do more of it after I realized that the only time I’ve done it has been when he’s been in the hospital. That realization led to a lot of crying on Monday night on my part but that’s OK. Crying is a stress release for me.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about how doing Compline has helped my faith and enables me to go to sleep. Edda even joined me for it yesterday which was very helpful — she is a meditative panther and petting her was a nice addition to prayer.

Thank you for having coffee (or tea) with me today. Shall we do this next week?

The Simple Woman’s Daybook: August 5, 2013

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Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY August 5, 2013

Outside my window… sunny and warm. It’s in the 80’s so we’ll probably go play outside during therapy today.

I am thinking… about the devotions I’m trying to get written.

I am thankful… for Daniel falling asleep in my lap while I sang to him.

In the kitchen… chicken marinating.

I am wearing… green “Online Debate Team” shirt, running shorts, and my Celtic cross.

I am creating… devotions for the book.

I am going… to be seeing a lot of the Glassrock Building at UCD Medical Center this week — Daniel has a peds check-up and an ENT appointment.

I am wondering… if penguins have knees. (It’s related to a Facebook picture.)

I am reading… Banished by Lauren Drain. I finished Going Going Ganache by Jenn McKinlay last week and Apologia pro vita sua is still on hold.

I am hoping… Daniel’s ENT goes well tomorrow and we’re not stuck waiting in the exam room for a long time.

I am looking forward to… saying Compline tonight. It’s actually gotten to be the highlight of my night.

Around the house… trying to channel my inner Flylady and get the clutter under control.

I am pondering… many things internally.

A favorite quote for today… “All the world is made of faith and trust, and pixie dust.” — J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

One of my favorite things… quiet mornings which don’t exist in my house at the moment with Daniel on break from school.

A few plans for the rest of the week: ENT appointment for Daniel tomorrow, peds appointment and ABA therapy for Daniel on Wednesday as well as Ladies’ Night Out for me, a rheumatology appointment on Friday, and Date Night for Jon and I on Saturday night thanks to Respite Night at a church in Elk Grove..

A peek into my day… I’ll share the image involving penguin knees.

Do penguins have knees?????

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