The Simple Woman’s Daybook: March 1, 2011

I almost lost Daniel tonight so pardon me if I’m a bit bitter and cynical.

Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY March 1, 2011

Outside my window… the hallway to the MSICU and the PICU where Daniel is.

I am thinking… about how I’m going to get through this time of Daniel being in the PICU.

I am thankful for… Daniel rebounding and not needing to go on ECMO.

From the kitchen… I’m eating out of the hospital cafeteria — when I have an appetite.

I am wearing… grey shirt and pajama bottoms.

I am creating… this entry.

I am going… nowhere anytime soon except the bathroom and the PICU. (I’m banished to the “quiet room” tonight because they need to keep Daniel’s room open in case ECMO has to happen tonight.)

I am reading… Auntie Mayhem by Mary Daheim.

I am hoping… Daniel pulls through this soon and his lungs start making a turnaround. Mostly, I’m just hoping he makes it through the night without any more problems.

I am hearing… Jon sleeping, the ventilation system, occasional alarms. God willing, I will not hear “Code Blue: Tower 7 PICU.”

Around the house… I’m at UC Davis Medical Center. I don’t know when I’ll see the parsonage again.

One of my favorite things… the amount of support from family, friends, and parishioners. Also the way the nurses take care of me in addition to Daniel.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Being here in Sacramento at the UCD MC PICU.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing… My life is too horrific at the moment to photograph.

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Daniel (with God’s help) pulled off a coup and managed to rebound with some ventilator tweaks and stay stable. They’re going to put off ECMO for the moment and God willing it will not have to be done during the night.

Praise God!

(God, you’re still on notice though.)

Flattened (I)

I signed the paperwork for Daniel to be put on the heart-lung machine (ECMO) about half an hour ago or so.

Yes, it is seriously that bad.

I’m completely flattened. I threw up my dinner and I don’t know that I can eat again for a long time.

I’m simultaneously thoroughly pissed off at God and trusting Him to get us through this.

I’m just at the end of things.