Looking out my window… dark. It was allegedly 70F but felt colder. It’s down in the 40’s right now.
I am thinking… about what to write tonight for the Write 31 Days challenge.
I am thankful… that my boys (the Giants) clinched a play-off spot. (Yeah yeah yeah… the Dodgers clinched the NL West but I don’t give a crap about that.)
I am wearing… jammies. Church clothes were my indigo shirt, black slacks, my black cardigan, and black flats. I traded the flats and slacks for jeans and a hoodie after church.
I am creating… Excel files to submit to my Excel teacher.
It’s interesting that this covers the month of October because I found out I was pregnant with the kidlet on October 11, 2008. It was simultaneously a joyful and terrifying thing. 🙂 I was due around Father’s Day 2009 and it seemed like it was going to be a semi-normal pregnancy… until my hands started swelling in March 2009 and strange symptoms started happening. I had no idea that I was going to have to have an emergency c-section at 29.5 weeks gestation because of Class II HELLP Syndrome and that Daniel’s birth weight was going to make my 3 lb 12 oz. one seem gigantic. (Kiddo weighed 1 lb 15 oz. and was 14 1/4 inches long.) I think it’s probably good that God didn’t let me in on that little fact when Jon and I decided to try for a baby because I can *TOTALLY* see myself pulling a Jonah and figuratively fleeing to Tarshish!
Daniel was pretty tiny and he did have a lot of growing to do… but he is definitely *MY* child because he ignored the memo on all of this and decided that 3-4 months in the hospital was a little too long to hang out there. He came home on his 2 month birthday and did not require oxygen. He did have an inguinal hernia that we eventually had repaired (once he was old enough for anethesia) and ROP but that corrected itself as well.
While he was as fierce as I am about overcoming things, he did unfortunately have a 50% developmental delay and we started him in physical therapy at 13 months old, occupational therapy at 17 months old, and speech therapy a little after he turned 2 years old. He didn’t sit up until he was a little over a year and a half old and didn’t take his first independent steps until he was 2 1/2. He is only now really using a pencil well with special grips and is finally developing speech and sentence structure. The good thing is that when something developmental comes for him, it takes off like wildfire so I’m thinking he’ll probably be talking somewhat well by his next birthday?
His immune system was also compromised because of prematurity and that unfortunately meant that he could not fight off basic infections, especially respiratory ones. The scariest one was probably the one that landed him on a ventilator for a week and a half in the PICU at UC Davis Medical Center followed by a bit more than a week on the pediatric unit. We’ve also seen quite a bit of time in various pediatric ER bays at UCD and had a couple more smaller hospitalizations, the most recent one being a week-long one three years ago.
He was diagnosed with autism at age 2 1/2 and started school in an ABA preschool class at age 3. We added in-home ABA therapies a year later. Four years later, he is still in an autism-specific class but we’re OK with that and he seems to be thriving with it. Let’s just say that I have become almost an expert on IEP’s. 🙂
A year ago, his pediatric neurologist diagnosed him with ADHD and put him on Adderall. While this is not a popular decision in some of the circles in which I travel (because, you know, ADHD *TOTALLY* isn’t a thing… except when you have a kid with no off switch), it’s been a lifesaver for us and for Daniel. He can sit down to play and focus on what he is doing, freeing me up to take care of my own school, do housework, take a shower, eat a meal sitting down… We’ve seen a child psychiatrist who met with us monthly and his pediatrician up here in Washington sees us regularly as well as his Adderall requires a special prescription and in-depth supervision.
So what would you like me to write about this month? Leave me a comment to let me know and I’ll see what I can do. 🙂
So here we are again. The Write 31 Days challenge is upon us and I had to come up with a topic for this month. As it is constantly on my mind these days, I picked “parenting kiddos with special needs”. I am hoping that whatever I write will help to encourage or educate or at least resonate with someone and make them feel less alone in their parenting.
This post will be stuck at the top of my blog for all of October so that y’all can have links to the things I am writing.
For the sake of disclosure, the graphic for this event is a picture of Daniel taken by his physical therapist at a park date with her in December 2011 and altered in MS Paint. (Canva wasn’t doing it for me this time.)
Apparently, I might be able to #bulletjournal? On Monday, my Accounting teacher collected all of our notebooks before giving us our homework quiz so she could grade our outlines (for those who decided to do theirs on looseleaf paper, she collected those) and upon seeing my notebook, someone blurted out that my notes were so pretty and precise and that I must be an engineer. Considering that I can barely draw a straight line even with the help of a ruler, I was suitably honored to hear this. #egostroked
Apparently, I might be able to do a #bulletjournal someday… if the #bujo can be in pencil. 🙂
A song for today. I went to the chapel service held by the Campus Christian Fellowship this week (think Intervarsity or Cru) and this song was sung. I’m kind of in love with it.
Proud of my home state. Because of the accounts scandal at Wells Fargo, California’s State Treasurer John Chiang has suspended business relationships with them for the state because he feels they should be punished for their wrongdoing. Considering they’re a crappy bank to use (I just ended my banking relationship with them after 18 years because of bad behavior on their part in the last few years), I’m happy that he’s taking a stand against them instead of being bowed by them because they are kind of a goliath entity in the financial world.
An interesting suggestion. Elizabeth Scalia of Aleteia.Org has an interesting suggestion: read aloud to someone. Even though I can read by myself now, it’s fun to be able to sit and listen and crochet while listening to someone read.
*facepalm*This personal anecdote about racism has been making the rounds on Facebook. My question to y’all: would you have stepped out of your privilege and comfort zone and stood up on behalf of Ashley (the protagonist)?
1.) His failure to actually research the kid’s vaccine reaction (and it would have been very well-documented if he had done so) if he had another one. I know from my own kid that having a paper trail is essential and having all of the records is vital if your kid has any problems, so much so that one specialist will not rule on anything unless they’ve seen all the records. I have never had a doctor take my word for it on almost anything related to Daniel — everything has to be backed up and it is considered to have never happened if it isn’t documented. This means that he would have needed records from the kid’s prior physician, ER records, or urgent care records from when the mom got the kid treatment for the vaccine reaction… because what mother wouldn’t take their kid in if they were having a reaction like that?!?!?
2.) By excusing the kid from future vaccines (and not just the one to which he reacted badly), he put both the kid at risk of contracting a disease that could have landed him in the hospital or killed him as well as anyone else who can’t be vaccinated for health reasons. One of the reason that they started requiring such a strict policy in California is that there were outbreaks of diseases like pertussis (for which you cannot vaccinate infants) and measles in the state that could have been prevented if parents hadn’t claimed phony “conscience” reasons for not vaccinating themselves or their kids. Having been in this situation, it is *HORRIFICALLY PAINFUL* emotionally to have to watch your kid suffer to breathe or to have your kid end up with a horrible side effect from a hospital stay. I know I would be angry beyond words and pondering a lawsuit if Daniel had gotten something like pertussis as a baby because someone unvaccinated (for no rational reason) was in the waiting room with him and Daniel died as a result. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN LOS ANGELES COUNTY IN 2010!!!
3.) For the love of all things holy, IT HAS BEEN PROVEN BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT THAT VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM. Dr. Andrew Wakefield lied and his lie was heinous enough (he spread false information for his own gain) that The Lancet had to retract what was written (a big deal because lawsuits had been decided using the false information which created an entirely new headache for the legal system in the UK and the US) and his name was stricken from the British Medical Record (a.k.a. he lost his license to practice medicine in the UK). There is a lovely infographic which gives all of this information PLUS links.
4.) After one appointment, the child claimed he had been hit in the head by a hammer and Dr. Sears did not report it to CPS. He is a mandated reporter and if he heard something like this, he is required by the state of California (and every state in the nation) to report this to CPS and do an in-depth evaluation. He didn’t. That is a serious breach of protocol and could mean that the child (if he was being truthful) could be an abusive home and in danger. That’s lawsuit material right there.
An interesting response detailing why he’s being charged with gross negligence is here.
And yes, I know that this was not a quick take but I felt like this explanation needed to be presented. 🙂
Seeing my community come together following the local shooting on Friday. (For those who don’t read my blog normally, the Cascade Mall shooting was local for me.) The small shrine at the mall sign is growing still, the vigil held on Monday night was very well-attended, and there’s even a prayer wall composed of two pieces of butcher paper at the college.
This piece on Philip Yancey from HuffPo Religion. Apparently, I’m in good company in being baffled by evangelical support of Donald Trump. Yancey comes from a fundamentalist background and went more mainstream evangelical so I’m not surprised that he is not a fan of Trump. For an understanding of why I’m saying this, read What’s So Amazing About Grace? and Vanishing Grace.
Four
This piece on the value of being alone. Who knew that my need for “mama time” was such a good thing? 🙂
Five
Singing in my church choir. Getting to go sing for 60-90 minutes on Wednesday nights and on Sunday mornings is divine. (No pun intended.) Tonight involved some Mendelssohn, Holst, and gospel.
One of my favorite things… Homer being a snuggly kitteh.
I am wearing… jammies. Church clothes today were a black cardigan and jeans from Kohl’s, a black t-shirt from Old Navy, and my black flats. I ditched the flats and cardigan after church. I was also wearing my 49’ers necklace that Rebecca made for me so I could rep my boys at church.
Shared Quote… I seriously feel like this is a fitting quote that refers to everyone who tells me that Daniel’s autism is due to us vaccinating him. (For the 1500th time, vaccines do not cause autism.) Let’s also not even get into the political applications of it…
A moment from my day… I’m enjoying the various videos on bullet journals out there. I would love to have one but I am too much of a perfectionist and I lack the ability to draw a straight line.
My Practical Accounting class. I love the class so much that I made myself late for choir practice last night so I could get the worksheet of class examples to balance. (The fact that Mount Vernon has the crappiest way of doing street repairs and closures also made me late because a large chunk of Division was closed and I had to take Fir to Riverside to Fulton to some other street to Kincaid to get to my church on 18th.) I also worked through some things in my workbook that aren’t required just to give myself some extra practice.
My Excel class. The book and workbook are still MIA so we have some temporary online codes for the e-book and SNAP. I’m really wanting my print book because it’s kind of annoying to have to jump between the window with the e-book and Excel while working on projects and exercises.
Fitting in. I thought I’d be the oldest in a class of 18-20 year olds. I was wrong. My Practical Accounting class is a good mix of ages and I’m liking this mixture a lot. We do have some youngsters but also people my age and some who are older.
CCF. When I walked into the student center on Tuesday at noon, the Campus Christian Fellowship was tabling. (“Tabling” means that they had a table with information and a sign-up sheet for emails about activities.) I signed up to get emails on events and I’ll be heading to hang out with them for dinner and Bible study tonight. They also have a chapel service on Tuesday during the noon hour and I will definitely attend those as they seem like a nice break in my day.
Honestly, I’m looking forward to religious activities like this where I’m just going as “Jen” and not “Pastor Jon’s wife Jen who we expect to know everything about all that is happening despite the fact that we did not call HER as the pastor and she has her hands full with a full-time job or a kiddo with special needs”.
Prayer request. Please keep my dear friend Eileen and her family in prayer as she deals with the passing of her father. She is one of the deepest and wisest people and I hate that she is having to grieve, though she would be one of the first to tell me that it is a part of life.
The Skittles meme from Donald Trump Jr. In case you didn’t read my post from Tuesday, let me explain why Donald Trump Jr.’s Skittles meme is so horrific.
1.) Skittles are candy. Refugees are people.Wrigley, the maker of Skittles, responded as such to Trump Jr.
2.) Trump Jr. used the picture from a refugee photographer without said photographer’s permission.The photographer is horrified by how his picture was used and has emphatically said that Trump Jr. did not have permission to use it. Seriously, Junior. Didn’t your dad teach you not to take things without permission??? Oh wait…
3.) The idea behind the Skittles example originated with a children’s book by Nazi propagandist Julius Streicher. Lest you think I am making this up, the link to my source is here and Snopes.Com backs me up.
And for the record, I would totally eat a handful of Skittles and I would joyfully accept every refugee. SKITTLES ARE CANDY AND REFUGEES ARE PEOPLE, CHILDREN OF THE LIVING GOD WHO DESERVE BETTER THAN TO BE TREATED LIKE A DISPOSABLE COMMODITY.
Srsly?!?!? My backpack with my accounting book and working papers fell off the chair next to me at Starbux and the two people in my part of the restaurant gave me nasty looks even after I said, “Sorry.” Y’all, I’m sorry that my accounting book weighs more than Daniel does and that the sound disturbed you sitting there and drinking coffee. To be fair, the two of you are now having incredibly loud conversations with other people and I’m not giving you snotty looks. Try to show a modicum of compassion, m’kay?
